The Intimacy Curator

Dear Curator, For many people Holi is a time for celebration. It was for me too a few years ago. But now I fear it. I was groped and molested in my neighbourhood and that fear has stayed with me, even when my bf hugs me from behind, I freak out. I have been trying to get over this but just can’t get it out of my system. Please help. Nobody deserves what happened to you. The impacts of sexual assault are extremely difficult to deal with and it will take some time to get them out of your system. You have them stored in your body as trauma. Be patient with yourself. Your body will take you back into the past each time you get triggered because trauma makes it difficult to be in the present moment. Your body might take you back to the incident even when you are in a safe intimate space such as cuddling with your partner . Any trigger can make your nervous system move from the here and now to there and then and that will be your reality for some time. You might also experience low libido ...

When you are betrayed by a loved one, it can turn out to be one of the most hurtful experiences of your life – especially if you find out that your partner has been cheating on you, you feel crestfallen and shattered, rightly so. But can this experience also be transformative? What could be the aid for heartbreak ? It begins with processing what you’ve been through and acknowledging the hurt that has been caused. Cheating can make you question your own self, it can make you insecure, take a toll on your mental health and your confidence levels may also come down. So it is vital that you focus on yourself and understand that cheating is not a consequence of your shortcomings. Whose fault was it? Most of the time people cheat and lie to others when they are extremely unhappy with who they are not because they intend to hurt you. It is their insecurities and fears that make them act this way and not something you have done or said. Acknowledge your feeling of hurt, it is valid; speak abou...